Inner beauty

Me: I think, son, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside.

Jackson: What, like your lungs and heart and organs? You need those to be beautiful? That’s just weird.

Who gets the most coal at Christmas?

Jackson: You know who I bet got a lot of coal in their stockings?”

Me: Who?

Jackson: The Nazis.

Things to remember on Christmas

“Merry Christmas, people! Remember, it’s about giving. Also remember not to leave a fire burning Christmas Eve or you will kill Santa and then no more Christmas. And if you kill Santa, you suck.”

-Jackson

I don’t even own a red suit.

Jackson: Daddy- this year can we put security cameras around the fireplace?

Me: That sounds expensive. If you want to pay for it, you can.

Jackson: Hmmm. I just want to see if there is a fat guy in a red suit bringing presents… besides you.

The height of excitement

Me: Hey Jackson, I may have a free week in June. You and I should go somewhere for a couple of days. Do something crazy and fun.
Jackson: Like go to Chuck E Cheese?
Me: No. Bigger than that. Like go camping. Or visit a big city we’ve never been to. Or go to a waterpark resort hotel.
Jackson: I know! I know! We could go to Chuck E Cheese…TWICE.

Life outside the hotel has been arduous

Jackson: Can we just spend our whole vacation in this hotel bed?
Me: Why would we do that?
Jackson: Because I have never known such comfort.

Jackson analyzes the latest lingo

Jackson: I don’t think most people actually have epic fails.
Me: Really?
Jackson: Because I don’t think most people try to do anything actually epic in order to have an epic fail.

Logical thinking

Jackson: Are we watching a movie?
Me: yes, I have ten choices for you, each one better than the last.
Jackson: Then I choose the last one.

Tragic back stories

JACKSON: Daddy?
ME: Yes, Jackson.
JACKSON: From now on, whenever I ask you a question, it would be good if your answer always contained a tragic back story.

It sure is fun not being punched in the face by the baby!

While atop the Six Flags/Great America Yankee Clipper ride, just before going down the hill.
JACKSON: Why is this ride so slow? Do the Great America people hate us?
ME: I don’t think so. I think this is the calm before storm. Isn’t this great, though? We are here, not being punched in the face by the baby, not doing laundry, not cleaning, not working at all— and instead we are riding go-karts, going on rides, eating funnel cake… This is pretty great I think.
JACKSON: You had me at not being punched in the face by the baby.